my life.

my great-great-grandfather’s name on my mother’s side was william osceola taylor. he went by ossie. he passed away in 1961, well before i could meet him, my mom was only 1 at the time.

my grandfather’s name was ossie taylor shackelford. he passed away in 2011. i called him grandaddy. he was an amazing man, and i miss him.

that’s where my name comes from.

and now my son due in just a few short weeks name will be ossie.

and here are two letters that i want to write.

---

dear grandaddy,

thank you. you grew up before the internet, you grew up working on a farm. you went to school to be a farmer. you changed careers halfway through your life and became an accountant regardless of the odds. you raised two amazing children, my mother and my uncle.

i remember certain things about you. i remember you driving to winston salem when i was a kid, and sleeping on our pull out couch in the living room. i remember waking you up, and not once did you ever do anything but smile and be greatful for getting to spend time with us. i remember when you came to town we’d always drive to pilot mountain, and we called it grandaddy’s mountain. i remember that we’d always drive 30 minutes out of the way from pilot mountain back home to virginia because the lottery wasn’t in north carolina and you’d buy a bunch of scratch off cards – just because it was fun.

i remember every christmas eve going to my other grandparents house, and then dad would drive 4 hours from like 9pm to 1am from winston salem to kinston and we’d do christmas morning at your house.

i remember that when i was a kid you always drove cadillac’s and talk about how they were the smoothest ride on the road.

i remember you owning your own business and having your own cpa firm – and working with farmers because that’s what you did and your family did.

i remember you were passionate about sports, particularly nc state sports. i wanted to go to nc state because of you. i did go to nc state because of you. i remember you telling a story of burning an outhouse on meredith’s campus with your fraternity brothers. i graduated from state exactly 60 years to the day after you.

i remember how important your faith and your church and the people at your church were to you.

i remember how much support you had for our armed forces and military.

i remember that you loved barbeque, and you used to have certain restaurants for certains days of the week. tuesday’s for lunch you always went to ken’s bbq. i believe thursday’s for dinner you always went to king’s.

i remember that no matter where we went, whether in your hometown of kinston or in winston salem or anywhere else, you always, always knew someone. someone would come up and greet you. you’d go talk to someone. it was incredible.

i remember us going to an ice cream shop and ordering superman ice cream. aka just bubble gum flavored ice cream that was colored red and blue.

above all, what i really remember is that you never raised your voice. it seemed to me like you never got angry, you were quick to forgive and even quicker to love. i remember you were smart, you read books, you wanted to learn. i remember that you cared for people. i remember that anything you could do for anyone you did it.

i don’t ever remember you talking bad about anyone. i don’t ever remember you drinking, cursing, or saying anything to anyone that wasn’t encouraging. i remember thinking that when i grew up i wanted to be like you.

and i’m doing my best.

thank y0u grandaddy. i love you, and i miss you.

love, taylor.

---

dear ossie,

it’s still a few weeks before i get to meet you. i couldn’t be more excited to meet you. to love you. to hold you. to have you fall asleep on my chest.

i couldn’t be more excited to watch you sleep. watch you smile. watch you grow. watch you learn, watch you be curious about the world around you.

i can’t wait for you to be my son.

i can’t wait for you to cry. to get upset. to comfort you. to fix it. to sometimes tell you to fix it yourself because it’ll make you a better person.

i can’t wait to hear you talk. i can’t watch you walk. i can’t wait to teach you how to ride a bike. i can’t wait for you to love fast cars and going fast just like your daddy.

i can’t wait to raise you. to watch how you interact and are loved and cared for and supported by your mom.

i kinda can wait to watch how much your grandparents spoil you…

i can’t wait for you to go to school. i can’t wait to see you be the smartest, the most good looking, the most athletic, the most talented person in the entire world, if you want to be.

i can’t wait for you to make your own decisions. sometimes they are going to be the wrong choices. but i promise to hold my tongue and let you make your own mistakes.

i can’t wait for you to have every opportunity, every possible thing in the world open to you, open to your dreams, open for you to go after and get whatever you could possibly want.

i can’t wait for you to be you.

i promise to always love you.

i promise to always be there for you.

i promise to do my best to not spoil you and teach you the value of a dollar bill.

i promise to push you to be you – but to be the best you.

i promise that no matter what happens, i will always be there for you.

i promise that love will always come before judgement or condemnation.

i promise to always take care of your mother.

i can’t promise that i won’t ever make mistakes. but i do promise that when i do i’ll admit to them and i’ll take responsibility for them.

i promise to raise you as best as i can.

i’m going to be honest with you – you have big shoes to fill. your great grandfather that you were named after was one of the most amazing men i’ve ever met. but i promise to never have expectations. i promise to never be let down by you. i promise that your life is your life.

i promise to always want the best for you. but i also know it isn’t my job to tell you what’s best for you. i can only advise and push you in what i think is the right direction.

this won’t be the last thing i ever write down to you. it’s just the first directly too you.

i love you. your mother loves you. we love you, and we love each other.

there’s nothing that can ever, ever, ever get in the way of that. nothing. i promise.

love, your daddy.

p.s. you better be able to read this before you go to kindergarten. i do have hopes and dreams for you 🙂

p.s.s. i just made your mom and at least one of your grandmothers cry.

i hate personality tests. it seems like they’re just generic horoscopes that people read into and go oh my goodness that is so accurate i need to follow whatever this says to the t because that’s me.

there’s this one personality test thingy that has been going around a group of my friends for a few weeks.

i hate it.

because oh my goodness this is so accurate.

this is literally taken directly from https://www.enneagraminstitute.com/type-7 – i don’t claim any credit and these aren’t my words:

We have named this personality type The Enthusiast because Sevens are enthusiastic about almost everything that catches their attention. They approach life with curiosity, optimism, and a sense of adventure, like “kids in a candy store” who look at the world in wide-eyed, rapt anticipation of all the good things they are about to experience. They are bold and vivacious, pursuing what they want in life with a cheerful determination. They have a quality best described by the Yiddish word “chutzpah”—a kind of brash “nerviness.”

Although Sevens are in the Thinking Center, this is not immediately apparent because they tend to be extremely practical and engaged in a multitude of projects at any given time. Their thinking is anticipatory: they foresee events and generate ideas “on the fly,” favoring activities that stimulate their minds—which in turn generate more things to do and think about. Sevens are not necessarily intellectual or studious by any standard definition, although they are often intelligent and can be widely read and highly verbal. Their minds move rapidly from one idea to the next, making Sevens gifted at brainstorming and synthesizing information. Sevens are exhilarated by the rush of ideas and by the pleasure of being spontaneous, preferring broad overviews and the excitement of the initial stages of the creative process to probing a single topic in depth.

Devon, a successful business woman, shares with us some of the inner workings of her Seven mindset.

“I am definitely a list person. It’s not really for memory since I have a great memory. It’s more for down-loading information so that my mind won’t spin on it. For example, I was at a concert where the tickets were hard to get and very expensive. I couldn’t sit through it. My mind was torturing me with the things I needed to do. Finally, I had to get up and leave. This was very upsetting to the person I went with and I missed a good show.”

Sevens are frequently endowed with quick, agile minds, and can be exceptionally fast learners. This is true both of their ability to absorb information (language, facts, and procedures) and their ability to learn new manual skills—they tend to have excellent mind-body coordination, and manual dexterity (typewriting, piano playing, tennis). All of this can combine to make a Seven into the quintessential “Renaissance person.”

Ironically, Sevens’ wide-ranging curiosity and ability to learn quickly can also create problems for them. Because they are able to pick up many different skills with relative ease, it becomes more difficult for them to decide what to do with themselves. As a result, they also do not always value their abilities as they would if they had to struggle to gain them. When Sevens are more balanced however, their versatility, curiosity, and ability to learn can lead them to extraordinary achievement.

The root of their problem is common to all of the types of the Thinking Center: they are out of touch with the inner guidance and support of their Essential nature. As with Fives and Sixes, this creates a deep anxiety in Sevens. They do not feel that they know what to do or how to make choices that will be beneficial to themselves and others. Sevens cope with this anxiety in two ways. First, they try to keep their minds busy all of the time. As long as Sevens can keep their minds occupied, especially with projects and positive ideas for the future, they can, to some extent, keep anxiety and negative feelings out of conscious awareness. Likewise, since their thinking is stimulated by activity, Sevens are compelled to stay on the go, moving from one experience to the next, searching for more stimulation. This is not to say that Sevens are “spinning their wheels.” They generally enjoy being practical and getting things done.

Frances, a successful business consultant, sounds more energetic than is humanly possible—and yet, she is a typical Seven:

“I am highly, highly productive. At the office, I am joyful and my mind is running at its best. I might create several marketing campaigns for a client, work on the outline for an upcoming seminar, talk out a difficult problem with a client on the telephone, close two deals, make a project list, dictate a few letters and look up to see that it’s 9:30 a.m. and my assistant is coming in to start our work for the day.”

Second, Sevens cope with the loss of Essential guidance by using the “trial and error” method: they try everything to make sure they know what is best. On a very deep level, Sevens do not feel that they can find what they really want in life. They therefore tend to try everything—and ultimately may even resort to anything as a substitute for what they are really looking for. (“If I can’t have what will really satisfy me, I’ll enjoy myself anyway. I’ll have all kinds of experiences—that way I will not feel bad about not getting what I really want.”)

We can see this in action even in the most trivial areas of their daily lives. Unable to decide whether he wants vanilla, chocolate, or strawberry ice cream, a Seven will want all three flavors—just to be sure that he does not miss out on the “right” choice. Having two weeks for a vacation and a desire to visit Europe brings a similar quandary. Which countries and cities to visit? Which sites to see? The Seven’s way of dealing with this will be to cram as many different countries, cities, and attractions into his vacation as possible. While they are scrambling after exciting experiences, the real object of their heart’s desire (their personal Rosebud, as it were) may be so deeply buried in their unconscious that they are never really aware of precisely what it is.

Furthermore, as Sevens speed up their pursuit of whatever seems to offer freedom and satisfaction, they tend to make worse choices, and they are less able to be satisfied because everything is experienced indirectly, through the dense filter of their fast-paced mental activity. The result is that Sevens end up anxious, frustrated, and enraged, with fewer resources available to them physically, emotionally, or financially. They may end up ruining their health, their relationships, and their finances in their search for happiness.

Gertrude is busy establishing her career and family now, but she looks back at how this tendency contributed to her getting a rough start in life.

“There wasn’t anything to do at home or in the tiny Southern town I grew up in. I was dying to get out of it and go someplace more exciting. When I was 16, I started dating, and before long I got pregnant, but the father didn’t want to marry me—which was okay since I didn’t want to marry him, either. It wasn’t too long before I found somebody else, and we got married, and I got to move to a larger city. But it didn’t really work out the way I wanted because after I had the baby, we broke up and I had to move back home. I stayed there for a year or two to get my feet on the ground. When things were looking bleak, I married someone else. I’m 19 now and I guess I’ve done a lot already.”

On the positive side, however, Sevens are extremely optimistic people—exuberant and upbeat. They are endowed with abundant vitality and a desire to fully participate in their lives each day. They are naturally cheerful and good humored, not taking themselves too seriously, or anything else for that matter. As we have seen, the Basic Desire of Sevens is to be satisfied, happy, and fulfilled, and when they are balanced within themselves, their joy and enthusiasm for life naturally affect everyone around them. They remind us of the pure pleasure of existence—the greatest gift of all.

(from The Wisdom of the Enneagram, p. 262-264)

i hate that it describes me so well.

but i was trying to figure out how to give anyone who ever reads this the best description of me without sounding like an asshat or arrogant. and i think this sums it up pretty well. and i hate it.

the one thing that i don’t hate about this – and i think this is why i’m even willing to put something like this out there – is because it doesn’t just talk about “oh you’re so good at these things because you took a short quiz and we arbitrarily named you one of these given personality types.”

it actually talks about some of the negatives, some of the things that consume me and i do wrong. and if there is one thing i can do – one thing that i can somehow convey through any writing or content i ever produce. i want people to know i’m not perfect. i want people to know that i make mistakes and do things wrong. it may be hard for me to admit that but it’s true. i want people to know that i’m no better than anyone else. i just work for what i want. i have goals. i have a vision. i know what i want. and i’m going to go get it.

yay for being a seven. also yay for if certain people read this they’ll crucify me and make fun of me because i’m actually admitting that it’s pretty true.

but that’s why i hate it.

my business takes a lot of time, a lot of effort, and a lot of work. i’m grateful to own and run it with one of the most motivated and driven people i’ve ever met. i’m grateful to be surrounded by friends, family and my wife who support me through the madness. i’m grateful to have people that work for me that would do anything to see the business succeed.

given that it’s an online business, that means i’m always at my computer. always online, on facebook messenger or slack trying to help someone get something done or get help to try to do something i’m doing – or talking to our students or members of our program. or looking at numbers and data or checking on this or checking on that. and i’m grateful for every second of it. this business is growing at such a rate that it’s allowing me to do some things that i didn’t think were going to be possible quite so soon. it’s allowing me to set my future son up for success months before he’s born. it’s allowing me to give my wife the life that she deserves. and it allows me control – control over my life, my schedule, what i do, when i do it, and how i do it. granted, sometimes i don’t feel like i have a ton of control, and when you work multiple 18 hour days in a week, control over your schedule is the last thing on your mind.

but i love it – i love the rush, i love looking at the numbers, i love to see people succeeding, i love to be able to look at something and say hey – i helped to create that. i love being able to look at our employees and say hey look – they’re doing great. i love being able to look at our students and members and say holy shit that’s an incredible story.

but sometimes – it’s nice to unplug. it’s nice to leave it all behind, not worry about it, not have any stress, and let go. it’s hard to do that ha – but it is nice once you get past the first few days.

and a few weeks ago, we did that. i was unaware but evidently there is this thing called a “babymoon” – where an expecting couple goes on one last hurrah before the baby comes, and so my wife and i went to naples, fl for 5 days and it was great. i tried my best to not look at my phone, my computer, and unplug. i messed up a few times – but i’d like to thank kale for telling me at one point to get the hell off and go enjoy time with my wife.

and that is what we did. we sat by the pool, we sat on the beach, we went on a few walks, and then we sat some more places. i drank lots of drinks – but the two best things about that trip – were the fact that i was able to read a ton and write a bit. that’s the trip that i started my book on. i wrote a solid 20-30 pages, and those pages are basically my outline for the entire book. that would make more sense, but i don’t want to give away anything about what i’m writing quite yet.

i got to read – one of the books i read is called “atomic habits” – it’s a wonderful book, and it’s a huge reason why i’ve decided to actually do this. write here, write my thoughts down. i would say write my feelings down…but i’m kind of a brick wall. emotions are stupid, i’m sure i’ll have multiple writings on that so if anyone out there does ever read this, don’t get too offended quite yet.

i got to spend time with my wife. something that i’m not always good about, something that i honestly try hard to make sure i do. it’s not that i don’t want to spend time with her, it’s that when you have a lot going on, it’s really easy to take the people close to you for granted. we just got to relax. neither one of us talk a whole lot, but we don’t have to. i once read a quote that went something like this, “you know she’s the one when you can sit in a room for an hour, not say a single word, and it not be awkward.” we got to sit with each other – granted most of the time she was sitting in the sun and i was sitting underneath the shade (the only other thing in this world i despise almost as much as emotions is the sun) – but it was relaxing, nice, and i didn’t have to worry or stress or try to get something done. i just got to sit there.

and while i was sitting at the pool or sitting on the beach reading or writing or just sitting there thinking beside my wife, i came to realize something. it was a weird thing to notice, but i did.

for most of the time when we were at the pool, we sat at the adult pool. it was one of those fancy places that has a “family pool” and then an “adult pool” where you have to be 18+ to sit by the pool. we happened to go to this place over a week where it was spring break at random places across the country, so there were quite a few kids there. i have nothing against kids, but when all i want to do is sit by the pool and drink my beer and read, it’s nice to not hear the screaming.

but while we were sitting there – i noticed that of the hundreds of other people at this place, i didn’t see a single other couple there, on vacation, relaxing and doing nothing under 30. none. i saw some in their 30s – some had kids. i saw a bunch in their 40s, mostly with kids. i saw a tonnn of people there over 50. but i honestly saw no other couples or people there just having a good time under 30. i thought there was a bachelorette party there and they were under 30, but brooke said they were over 30 so i was wrong.

isn’t it strange – that in the world that we live in, with all the resources we have access too, that most people under the age of 30 don’t take vacation days, are stressed beyond belief, are piled under student loans, and can’t make time to relax on a beach? granted, i’m sure there were people at plenty of other places, my sample size isn’t that big given it’s at one place in one city in florida. (i always remember how to spell florida by remembering the rapper flo rida.) – but i didn’t like it. i can only speak from the experience that i have, but i feel like i’m in my prime – i feel like now is the time when i need to be travelling, i need to be taking trips, i need to be doing things. maybe i’ll feel that way in 10 years, maybe i’ll feel the opposite. but people in 20s deserve to go out and see the world and enjoy the time we have been given.

time is the most valuable thing in the world – it’s the one thing that can’t be bought back, no matter how much money you have. and some of the best use of the most valuable resource on the planet for me – is unplugging.

some people don’t like me. i know that. some people don’t like the way i act, or the way i come across. some people see me for 30 seconds on an ad on youtube or facebook or see one youtube video and form a judgement in that 30 seconds that makes me have to work a lifetime to change their viewpoint.

and i don’t care.

there is one person on this actual earth that i care about what they think – and it’s my wife. there’s a reason for this – she’s the closest person to me. she know what happens in my life, she knows what i go through on a daily basis, she knows what i work on and what i don’t. she knows who i am.

since i started this business almost 2 years ago, the biggest thing i’ve realized is that there are going to be people who don’t like you, and there are honestly going to be people who judge you. there are going to be people who are jealous of you – regardless of if you actually do or have anything. just being willing to put yourself out there will make people jealous – because most of the time they aren’t willing to do it themselves, but wish they would.

the biggest piece of advice i can give to you, to anyone, and most importantly to myself no matter what happens – is to just be yourself.

when i follow that principle, that methodology, that rule, that guideline – to just be myself, my life is just so much better. why does it matter what people think. why does culture tell us we need to compare ourselves.

if we do compare ourselves, we need to keep a few things in mind – a. when you compare yourself to someone else, you’re comparing your worst to their best. think about that one for a second, it’ll make sense. b. why the hell does it matter. we all live different lives. think about this one – there are literally billions that i’m never going to meet, never going to know, never going to have a conversation with, never even going to know what they do in their lives. c. if we do compare ourselves, don’t look at it in jealousy or spite, look at it as motivation. i don’t look at someone like mark cuban and say oh damn i’m jealous. i look at him and say if he can do it – i can do it. i know it can be done, so why can’t i. mad props to the people who do it first, they are just insane and have the most ridiculous self-confidence ever.

be yourself. you’re the only one of you. you’re different than anyone else. your quirks, your abilities, your personalities, your skills, your talents. no one else is the same. no one else is you. you’re unique. and if you ever want to change or adjust your personality or your abilities, you can do that. don’t box yourself in. don’t say well this is just who i am. that’s bullshit. we have this little thing called the internet – it’s so open, so connecting, so full of knowledge, and anyone has the ability to be whoever they want to be – with the right amount of work, time and honestly support. i couldn’t be where i’m at if i didn’t have the people around me. that’s not a crutch – that’s a benefit. i always want to strive to put myself in situations where i get to be around people that push me, motivate me, and keep me humble.

always being yourself will do that i think – keep you humble. you aren’t better than anyone. you aren’t the best at what you do, there will always be someone better. that’s kind of a paradox given that at some point someone has to be the best – but they are only the best at that current time. lebron james in my opinion is the greatest basketball player of all time. alot of people would disagree with me, and say it’s michael jordan. who is actually the best? who cares.

being yourself gives you access to the biggest opportunity. the most potential. the highest level of success possible. it’s just you.

let’s go over the state of amazon fba.

amazon fba as a model has been around since september of 2006 – so as of right now, about 13.5 years or so.

it would’ve been interesting to be around back then, granted i was a freshman in high school – but it had to open up so much opportunity and i’m positive that it was just like anything else – when it first came out people probably didn’t realize how big it would actually be.

in the most recent annual shareholder letter from jeff bezos, he gave these numbers:

1999 3%

2000 3%

2001 6%

2002 17%

2003 22%

2004 25%

2005 28%

2006 28%

2007 29%

2008 30%

2009 31%

2010 34%

2011 38%

2012 42%

2013 46%

2014 49%

2015 51%

2016 54%

2017 56%

2018 58%

those are the percentages of sales sold on Amazon by independent third party sellers – just like me. i’m assuming that before 1999 they don’t even post because it was such a small percentage – but it seems like between 2001 and 2002 there was a big jump from 6% to 17%.

10 years ago, even 5 years ago from what i’ve read, what i’ve seen – honestly amazon fba was easier. you could pay people for reviews – it wasn’t against their terms of service. you could also literally just find a product, find a supplier, put it up and it would just sell – and for a few years you just had to put your logo on it and put it up and it would sell. things would rank by themselves. it was easier. find a product, stick a logo on it, make money.

that would be nice.

but in the last year (i believe over 2018) – third party sellers did $160 billion. that’s a whole lotta cheddar.

given that it is 58% (and growing) of their sales total, it isn’t going anywhere soon.

here’s the best part – i gave this analogy last week to one of our students asking a question –

the way we teach and help people grow their amazon businesses – we don’t want to go after a piece of the pie. pieces of a $160 billion dollar pie (the total including amazon is closer to ~$277 billion) are reserved for the big dogs. amazon itself. apple. samsung. the big dogs.

we don’t want to go get a piece of that pie, that’s ambitious as hell, and sure it would be nice but you don’t need a piece of a $277 billion dollar pie in order to create absolute and utter freedom for you and your loved ones.

we want to go after the crumbs. we don’t want to step on any toes, we don’t want to try to steal business away from a multi billion dollar company. we want to go after the crumbs. the random products that are (as we like to call them) 7/7 products that we can get a high ROI on. i can promise you – the crumbs of a $277 billion dollar pie are more than enough to change your life. you don’t even need a sliver.

you go after one product, one crumb, and then scale and repeat. i mean think about it – in 2018 48% of every single thing bought online was bought on amazon. are you kidding me. one out of every two things bought on the internet…came from one website. and we have the ability and the option to sell on amazon fba.

there will always be changes, and amazon fba has changed plenty since 2006, it’s changed plenty in the last 2 years since i’ve been doing it. but what i’ve found is the people willing to adapt – the people willing to change – the people willing to play by the rules that amazon has set out? those are are the people who are succeeding. those are the people who are making hundreds of thousands of dollars a month on amazon.

and that’s why we started it. there are some barriers to entry, it isn’t the absolute easiest business model to start – but once you get it going, the possibilities are absolutely endless. that’s why we are striving to put the processes in place to be able to teach thousands of people how to do it.

we aren’t creating competition for ourselves. anyone who asks that doesn’t understand the business model. even on our months where we’ve done $100k+ in revenue – $277 billion/12 months is ~$23 billion. $100k/$23billion is literally like .000004%. that isn’t called competition. that’s called a drop in the bucket.

amazon isn’t going anywhere – i’d argue it’s in one the best places it’s ever been in. there are still so many opportunities for new sellers. and jeff bezos himself has written about how important fba is to their business model in driving revenue and profit. it isn’t going anywhere. the state of amazon is 10/10. and i can’t wait to see where we go.

i just made the decision that as long as i can help it i’m not going to go back and edit any posts, i just might add on to them.

my first post, why? – i gave a list of purposes – the purposes behind why i started doing this and what i wanted to accomplish with this. i gave five. and today i thought of two more.

sixth purpose – it’s my journal. these are my memories. i’m positive that one day i’ll write in here and it won’t be all happy and politically correct, it’ll be what’s happening that day. but i can tell you that one day it’s going to be fun to look back at these, and see how weird and honestly wrong i am. i don’t know what it’s like to be a father before i am one. so looking back after we have children to see what i said, how i said it, it’ll be fun. it’s also going to be fun to see what i end up writing and how i write it and what i end up saying about my book(s) before they come out. but i’ll have it all written down.

seventh purpose – there’s one thing that i want to do with my life before it’s over. i want to build and create a legacy. there are all sorts of quotes that go something like, “there are two times that you die – once when you physically die – and once when someone says your name for the last time.” i want my name to be said 50000 years from now. not because of my accomplishments, not because of what i did, but because who i impacted – who i helped – who i could impact with my time here. and for anyone reading any of these posts ever – the most i could ever possibly do is impact you – motivate you – inspire you – help you to have the right mindset. mindset is everything. the passion, the drive, the motivation, the energy, it all comes from your mindset. and a free blog, on the internet, that absolutely anyone can read – it’s the easiest possible way i could perhaps motivate or inspire anyone. i don’t do what i do for me.

i do what i do for the people around me, the people who i love, the people who i haven’t even met yet, the people who i will meet, and the people that i won’t ever meet. you’re the most important person to me, and don’t ever forget it.

it’s cliche – but let’s go with this. i’m writing this on tuesday, may 21st 2019.

i’m 27 years old, i’ve been married for 5.5 years. i am self employed and own multiple businesses that i’ve started with my business partner.

i have one brother, thomas who moved to pittsburgh a little over a year ago – my mom just moved to pittsburgh. dad lives in nc where i was born and raised.

i grew up in winston-salem, nc – went to college at nc state in raleigh, got a job working in sales. worked there in raleigh doing sales for 3 years, after which i was promoted and moved to pittsburgh to do face to face sales.

i started a few businesses, quit that job in september of 2018, and now we’re here.

i have a dog, he’s dope.

i have a son on the way. fatherhood is something i’m looking forward to, i’m excited about, and i think i’m ready for – but honestly i don’t really know what to expect or be ready for – so i’m as ready as i’ll ever be.

all of the businesses i own are around amazon. 70% of everything that’s sold on amazon is sold by people like me, and so my 4 companies are all around that – consulting, teaching and helping individuals and businesses to grow, scale or start their own amazon businesses.

i like cars, i like technology, i’m a super nerd. i can sometimes be an ass, but i never do it because i don’t like you, i do it because it’s my way of not being awkward. most of the time people laugh around me. if they don’t, i feel weird and bad.

i have a ton of amazing friends, 99% of them i met through my church, amplify. it’s a dope place.

my wife is the most amazing person on the planet. she cares about people, she’s kind. she loves me, she supports me, she’s everything to me. i wouldn’t be where i’m at right now if it weren’t for her. there’s a lot more to that story – and it’s the truth – if it weren’t for her and the impact she’s had in my life, i’d be in jail, or dead. true talk.

i want to help people. i want to succeed in life and i want everyone around me to succeed. i want to have a direct influence on how people live, on what they’re able to do.

i have a few core beliefs.

1. everyone has the same opportunity and abilities, no one is better than anyone else.
2. everyone can make their life whatever they want it to be, just most people don’t have the work ethic to do it.
3. emotions are terrible. they cause people to make irrational, short term minded decisions and i don’t want them to control my life or my decisions.
4. i don’t like the sun. it’s hot and uncomfortable and makes me sweat. god gave us air conditioning and it’s my favorite thing.
5. you have a responsibility to yourself, and to the people around you. not monetarily, not where you have to give them everything, but to better your own life and better the peoples around you too.
6. the only difference between me and the most successful people to have ever lived, is time and hard work. luck or place and time doesn’t have anything to do with it.
7. treat people with respect. you have to understand that not everyone is like you, people have different beliefs, people have different personalities, and it is not their job to become like you – it’s your job to meet them where they are at.

i’m interested to see how over time these things change. where i’m at in life, what i’m doing, even how my core beliefs change.

this is me.

why?

i’m already a husband, a business owner, a christian, a brother, a son, a friend, and soon to be a father among a list that could probably go for the entire page.

why in the world would i put myself through adding on another task, another thing that has to get crossed off my list everyday?

because this isn’t meant to be a task. it isn’t meant to be a chore. it’s meant to be an outlet – there’s a reason why i’m not spending a whole bunch of time picking out pictures and formatting and worrying about what the layout is. if that was my worry then this would be for something else, to get attention, to make sure that people like the way it looks, to make sure that someone will read it and it’ll get picked up via seo on google and the like.

this is going to be a creative outlet for me. i love to read, i love to write. i remember back in elementary school i think there was a writing contest, and i wrote a short story as like a fourth grader about a young man in the 1830s who was on the underground railroad. it was 15 pages of gloriously written fiction written by a 4 year old, and i loved it. it wasn’t like writing a school paper, or writing copy for an ad or something for my business website – (although i will mention i’ve never done much of that and it’s been on kale – i do write some mean email blasts though.)

this creative outlet will serve a few purposes though, because wasted time is no good:

first purpose – i do aspire to be an author. i’ve actually already started on my first book. i’m super excited about it, i just need to make time for it. but i read a book a few weeks ago and it made a lot of sense – right now i don’t see myself as a writer or an author, and by simply creating a habit of writing even if it’s short or random or whatever will end up being on this, i’ll start to see myself as a writer and start to form the habit of writing hopefully everyday. if i have a habit of writing everyday, i’m hoping it won’t be so hard to make time to work on my book.

second purpose – it’s fun. it’s seemingly relaxing right this second, but of course it’s the first post and it’s 10:25pm and my very pregnant wife is already asleep upstairs. (i love you and you’re adorable) it allows me to be creative, it allows me to write what’s going on in my brain down.

third purpose – that was a solid transition. my brain is so full of weird and random things. i feel like my brain moves a million miles an hour, and that isn’t me bragging, really sometimes it can suck. it keeps me up at night. it keeps me distracted when i need to be getting something done. i can sit in one place and just literally lose myself in my thoughts. honestly i’ve wondered for a while if i went to a doctor and got checked out if they wouldn’t diagnose me with something weird. but it’s a huge, huge positive. i can look at things in a weird way, i feel like i know things. and i feel like this will just help me to organize it, get it out, and move forward.

fourth purpose – this is for me, but it’d be fun if people read it.

fifth purpose – i’m having a son – i’m writing this about 2 months out from his due date. i’m not the biggest fan of using social media, i don’t like to post a ton on my instagram, i don’t really post anything on facebook – i really just use social media as an outlet and platform for my business, and it’s fantastic at that. but while some people post regularly on social media or some people do this or some people do that, one day, when my son and any other children we ever have are old enough, i’d love for them to sit down and read this. not for my own self edification – but honestly so that there’s written proof on the internet somewhere that before they were born, before they were even here, before i’d seen them (these are all using pronouns assuming we’re going to have more than one) – that i love them more than anything. and everything i do, absolutely everything i do – it’s for your mom, and it’s for you. i don’t care what other people think. i don’t care what other people do or say or assume. i care about you. i care about the life you’re going to live, the opportunities you’re going to have, the dreams you’re going to live out and accomplish, and i will always and forever do everything in my power to give you the world. and also attempt to somehow manage to not spoil you while i’m doing it.

i’m not going to worry about correct grammer, i’m not going to worry about what it looks like, how it reads, and honestly i don’t give a shit if anyone reads it. it’s for me. if you happen to read, welcome to my life. my story. my outlet.